Wheels keep on rolling

Popped up in a meeting the other day:

"We can start getting the balls in motion"

Nice piece of juggling that.

An Angel in the House

From http://www.crikey.com.au/articles/2005/09/23-1109-2689.html

"Take out all the politics and personal vitriol and you are left with a male, aged around his 40s, having suffered illness and who has been confronted by his own immortality..."

Yes, it's true, there are still some folk out there who think Mark Latham is an angel.

Unfortunate Incentive

A lady on ABC radio, who happened to have been at the ground the last time the Swans won the AFL grand final in the 30s, was commenting on how much this weekend means to her:

"it's like the carrot at the end of the donkey"

hee- haww.

Golden Oldies

Found a couple of LFs written down from pre-e days.

Caro (take a bow) explaining how it is that her friend's mother could make financial decisions on behalf of her own ailing parent:

She has power of eternity over her dad's affairs

Superman never had that.

*************
Cousin Kaz (of 'I've only tipped the iceberg' fame) on her tour of Italy:

We set off into Rome with avengance
That pick-pocket will wish he'd never messed with this tourist...

They were sights to be held
Sometimes historic monuments need a little lovin' too.
************

Em, you might be able to clarify the context of this one:

There I was in all my refinery, going to a wedding on the back of a truck
Hope she didn't get refined for not wearing a seatbelt.

famous funnies

For those slow times when the funnies posts are a little lean, here's somewhere to spend an hour or two in tears, disbelief and laughter.

http://www.dubyaspeak.com/

We can outcompete with anybody.

Laptop or lap & top?

I was down in Melbourne yesterday and noticed the following sign at the security checkpoint:

"Laptop computers must be removed from their cases and presented as two separate parts"

Unfortunately my screen doesn't detach that easily - or maybe it does? I wasn't willing to try it though.

Body or word contortionism?

I met some people at dinner on Friday night, and it appears we are not the only ones tracking misappropriations of the English language - one of the people I met said her workplace had a common folder full of quotes from just one member of staff. Although I couldn't remember them all, this one stuck in my memory:

"I'm bending my arse over backwards for you guys"

Excellent Perspex

This is partly so you get a taste of what it's like to work with 'chipper cheerful' Americans, and partly because I found it funny. I'd emailed our US student advisors to let them know a WA university gave us permission to post an excursion video they'd made on our 'Prospective Students' marketing website.

Thanks Paula! I went on the Northwest trip as a student, and this was a great reminder--super cool that it's on the web, I will direct perspective students there to check it out for themselves.

Sometimes I wish our students would just fade off into the distance...

Inn-flamatory restaurant

I've just spent my lunchtime checking out who got what in this year's SHM Good Food Guide comp (http://www.smh.com.au/news/good-living/who-got-what/2005/09/05/1125772455628.html).

Aside from the fact (everyone, cutlery in hand please, and poised over the floor) one of our contributor's restaurant just so happened to win "Restaurant of the Year" (and release cutlery now) I happened to notice that the winner of the Regional Restaurant of the Year was:

"Colitis Inn"

Okay so it wasn't really. It was Collits Inn but it made me do a double take. "What is colitis?" you ask? Its the inflammation of the large intestine and is characterised by cramps, constipation, copious discharge of mucus (but not out your nose), bloating, fever & even pain (what - on top of all that?). Not exactly something I'd be wanting my restaurant to be associated with, even if it was a mistake.

BTW, what do the chefs at a 3-hat restaurant do with the other 2?

Incisive play

During my end of season football trip one of our midfield players went on a mazy run through the opposition defence. Discussing it later on, one of the guys noted

“it was like a knife through hot butter!”

Given the hungover state of the opposition it was probably right on the money.

DHL to the rescue!!

Julia noticed this one whilst perusing some junk mail. It was a flyer from a chiropractor informing us of the need to do something about our bad backs / sore necks. It contained some glowing references, including one from a policeman …

“being in my line of work I had to do something about my lower back spasms or my courier would be over”

Well no wonder it took sooo long

Sited on the web today someone who'd written that...

"Michael & Gello painted the sixteen chapels"

What do you reckon they dropped out of first - English or Art History?

Having a discussion about heat distribution from our chimney (exciting times to be had on a Friday night at our place) with friends. We explained that from our experience, the walls around the chimney do not heat up. We showed a friend that the wall above the fire was not warm, however they could not rest until all walls were tested for evidence of warmth. Going through to the next room with a wall adjoining the chimney, they were proud to show us that it was in fact warmed up from the fire, exclaiming "See, I am worth my weight in salt!"

Caesar's domestic life?

Cousin Kaz decided to get home before writing her travel email about her weeks in Europe (Italy not included), so the excitement levels were a little contained as were her language funnies. There were slim pickings, but there was a good word-order-affects-meaning example in there:

I really made an effort to "do as the Romans do when in Rome"...

their laundry?

Starting with a bang - the French way

I opened an email from our Parisian colleagues advising of a new training course they're starting which is having a...

"Quick-off meeting on September 28"

I guess you don't need more than a day for that kind of meeting. Personally, I'm glad I won't have to be there.

OH&S logic

I turned up to work this morning to find the kitchenette on our level is out of action due to some OH&S issue (what - they've worked out this area contains boiling water?). The sign advising that the kitchen is out-of-order says"

"NOT IS USE"

So if(kitchen=null) or (OH&S issue=1) then (sign) & (spellcheck=null)?

Comment Spam

On a more serious note...I have noticed that we are getting some comment spam...so I have turned on the word verification feature which means that when you comment there is a small verification procedure to go through which will help us avoid automated comments on our blog. Sorry for the inconvenience, but a rolling stone is better than two birds in the moss.

Getting over-exciting

Received in an email this morning, in which the sender was describing the new All Black haka:

"(It was) spine tinkling stuff"

Hadn't previously thought that the vertebral column might be directly attached to the urinary sytem, but I suppose it gives a reason as to why people wet themselves when they get excited. Afterall we all know the impact getting pissed has on the fifth cranial nerve.

joy in the journey

Apparently, some people feel the need whilst telling you a story to give you all the details which are meaningful to them, yet do not necessarily a succinct anecdote make. ( yes, yes, insert incredulous comment here all of you....)

A girl at work dropped this one like a hot knife through a tin roof,

My mother's, ex-partner's, gay-brother's chihuahua.

the rest of the story was far less humorous...