I'll drink to that

I've just been completing my "end-of-year" performance review, and found this typo from my mid-year review, describing feedback from a conference session I had given:

"all conference feedback was either 4 or 5 on 5-pint scale"

I guess everything sounds good after a few beers!

Run from...

Spotted in a travel blog, a description of a resort:

"It was the paradise from hell"

Pay for three nights, get eternity for free?

Cure for ill will

In an email received at work this week, a company's Business Development Manager was looking to acquire products that would...

"...complement our existing portfolio of anti-invectives"

His manner was quite pleasant, so maybe he takes them prophylactically himself?

Sweet & sour

From an interweb forum I stroll (rather than "troll") on a regular basis...

"Before you buy a new suite remember you cant make a silk purse out of a sours ear"

Basking on the rug

A friend of mine has a nephew who glories in being the only grandchild in the family. This is all about to change for him in December when 3 baby cousins will arrive within the space of a month. Apparently he's really going to struggle with sharing the attention, I mean

"no one likes having the limelight ripped out from under them."

Talk about tripping the light fantastic.

A blinding bookmark

A colleague in an email, explaining a cancelled meeting:

"We did have this afternoon eyemarked for that, but I'll reschedule for next week."

Somehow, that sounds more painful than the otiological alternative.

Don't mention the champagne

Out the other night for drinks (which will become apparent) and my friend was recounting the scare she'd had with her little boy who'd narrowly escaped being seriously hurt by a falling mirror. Afterwards, she hadn't wanted to discuss the responsibility issues with the family and it had become

the pink elephant in the room that noone wanted to talk about.

Did I mention the champagne? Ooops.

An arresting note

The little heiress has been going to day care for all of 2 weeks when we get the note asking for donations. A couple of gems in here:

Genes for Jeans [sic] Day coming up on Friday 6th August. Wear your jeans from Monday 2nd August until Friday 6th August. Please donate for this probable cause.

We didn't have to pick her up from county jail, thank goodness.

Trash talk

The following came from an iPod Touch sales pitch:

"With so much to do in such a neat little compacted device you’ll ever wonder how your life was worth living before."

Looks like they've got apps for everything, but maybe not a thesaurus.

Iseered

So the Heart Foundation have this new campaign to raise awareness of heart disease in women. You can check out the details on their website:

www.goredforwomen.org.au

Okay, so it's one thing to show your support, but I'm sorry, there is no way I am letting any angry bovine insert it's cera in to my vital organs. Even if it would make me go red for women.

Double word score?

A quote from an SMH commentary today:

"This is typical of Apple. Resellers stood by Apple when

everyone was scrabbling to sell Compaq..."

Hmm, maybe its because they come with a built-in spell-checker?

Spot the 'ole in this argument

Picture the business meeting. The factory manager is getting increasingly frustrated with the bad news about downtime and manufacturing delays until he can hold it back no longer and lets rip with:

"This place is an absolute fiesta!"

5 degrees of separation

A noticeable airheadish interviewee on 702 this week managed to drop:

"...so we were really able to take a 365 degree look at ourselves"

I bet you did - on any one of the 360 days each year.

Shower it the way

A friend's facebook status was recently updated (from Singapore) with the following:

"Can't work out how to make the shower go in her hotel room"

I suggested it may have a hotel room phobia and if she asked it nicely and offered to hold it's hand maybe it would oblige.

The last posting

Just saw this on Facebook - a friend had his status update as:

"...is sad, but is glad Grandma is at peace!"

To which his friend had replied:

"if we can live to that of age we have done well and seen and archived great things"

Who knows? Maybe she worked in data storage?