Tanyaisms

So, I work with this girl called Tanya. Tanya is an educated, intelligent girl, but has a special way with words. Some might call them "Spoonerisms", however when it comes to Tania we think they're in a leak that they own, so they've been labelled Tanyaisms...

* Walking in to a university lecture late, the lecturer stops while Tanya regathers her composure, during which she blurts...

"I'm so sorry, I've been so busy today my teats have hardly fuched the ground"

* She is having her car serviced one Monday morning, and her boss offers to give her a ride to work, during which he asks "So, how was your weekend?". Tanya's reply?...

"Really good - I spent most of it birthday *c*ard *h*unting for my brother"

* Talking about one of her colleague's apparent weight gain...

"He's really been pounding on the piles"

* Last year Tanya got herself a new man. For those of you who know about Myers-Briggs personality typing, Tany is an ENTJ and her man ENTP. If you don't know anything about MYPT, they are fairly similar but differ in their J-P component. Someone asked how it was going with the new man, to which Tanya replied...

"Well, ever since we started going out his 'P-ness' has been driving me crazy"

* But it must be catching. A couple of weeks ago one Monday morning she asked me how my weekend was. I had moved house and cleaned out the old one for the final inspection, so of course my reply was going to go something along the lines of...

"Busy - I spent the whole thing mooning and cleaving"

Please don't dwell on the visual image this may conjure.