Oxymorons

I want you to "act naturally"
Was "found missing"
Is a "resident alien"
Programmed in "advanced BASIC"
Its a "genuine imitation"
Would you care for some "airline food"
Good grief
"same difference" innit?
"almost exactly" the same
A "government organization"
"sanitary landfill"
Left "alone together"
Considered to be "legally drunk"
Let out a "silent scream"
Part of "Australian fashion"
The "living dead"
The "small crowd" that gathered
A proponent of "business ethics"
Ad-free "soft rock"
Head of "military intelligence"
Child proof
"Now, then ..."
making "synthetic natural gas "
"taped live" in front of a studio audience
sorry I "clearly misunderstood"
use the "plastic glasses"
"terribly pleased" to see you
my, what "tight slacks" you have
she's "pretty ugly"
want some "diet ice cream"?

A conundrum

"It's the things that Westfield do"

Shouldn't that be "it's the things that Westfield does"?

Westfield is a singular noun, and should definitely agree with the verb of which it is the subject, i.e. Westfield does, not Westfield do. Some might object that"Westfield" it is a collective noun. I doubt that , but even if it was, other collective nouns wouldn't work, "rice" for example.

So you have "it's the things that rice does that makes it a healthy food" and not "its the things that rice do that makes it a healthy food"

Any thoughts?

Tanyaisms

So, I work with this girl called Tanya. Tanya is an educated, intelligent girl, but has a special way with words. Some might call them "Spoonerisms", however when it comes to Tania we think they're in a leak that they own, so they've been labelled Tanyaisms...

* Walking in to a university lecture late, the lecturer stops while Tanya regathers her composure, during which she blurts...

"I'm so sorry, I've been so busy today my teats have hardly fuched the ground"

* She is having her car serviced one Monday morning, and her boss offers to give her a ride to work, during which he asks "So, how was your weekend?". Tanya's reply?...

"Really good - I spent most of it birthday *c*ard *h*unting for my brother"

* Talking about one of her colleague's apparent weight gain...

"He's really been pounding on the piles"

* Last year Tanya got herself a new man. For those of you who know about Myers-Briggs personality typing, Tany is an ENTJ and her man ENTP. If you don't know anything about MYPT, they are fairly similar but differ in their J-P component. Someone asked how it was going with the new man, to which Tanya replied...

"Well, ever since we started going out his 'P-ness' has been driving me crazy"

* But it must be catching. A couple of weeks ago one Monday morning she asked me how my weekend was. I had moved house and cleaned out the old one for the final inspection, so of course my reply was going to go something along the lines of...

"Busy - I spent the whole thing mooning and cleaving"

Please don't dwell on the visual image this may conjure.

Typo? maybe not!!

Excerpt from a friend's email.


HI!!!

I have just arrived back from my tour through the west side of canada. I was
so much fun. We went to ....

Never trust an intern

"Due to the hard ground the dead were interned in the trees"

Those ANZACS...

According to one caller on the radio this morning, Australians "being involved in Gallipoli was a passage of rites for the Australian Army."

Did she mean "passage of rights" - who's to say?

Mixed Metaphor Heaven

We'll burn those bridges when we get to them

It's not exactly rocket surgery

You all look like you've been slapped with a stunned mullet!

The truth is in the pudding.

Thanks, Sony

"Our a Lustrous boss - Ms Melissa Crockford is taking a well earned break."

She certainly is held in high regard...
Courtesy A. Faulkner 8/4/05

Shaz

Eeew - spiders make my blood crawl!

Did someone drop acid at lunch time?

Nicole Kidman

"Their minds are just so facile"

Nicole Kidman on how incredible the mental capacities of UN spokespeople are.