Thorough through and through

Browsing through a homewares shop in Newtown the other day, I had a triple take at a sign about their delicate decor:

CUSTOMERS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO TOUCH THE FOLIAGE THOUGH'S WHO DO WILL BE SHOT IN THE BACK ROOM...

I didn't read the rest of the sign, was already laughing too hard. I didn't touch the foliage though.

very un-meaningful

It's my pleasure to write up a report on our clients' qualitative responses to our surveys. One standout I think I will use just to illustrate the amount of consideration put into the feedback we get:

I always had to buy my own drink and bring it with me to all meals because what was offered was very un-tasteful

Good to know what an international university education can offer...

Dastardly double-crossing

Gotta love a good meeting... here's something from one this afternoon:

"We'll double-cross that bridge when we get to it"

Something bound to confuse everyone, no matter how green the grass on whichever side of the fence you choose to jump over the bar of. But double-crossing a bridge makes me wonder why you would even bother in the first place.

No riff-raff

Guy at work's sister is eating something she would usually dislike, his parents ask,"why you eating that- you hate it!".
Reply is "I'm sophisticating" (subtext; obviously)


response from other guy at work; "What was she eating?"

"Does it matter?"

"Yeah , she might have been de-sophisticating. "

all the chefs laugh......

You idiot - shh, its a secret

Its been a while, but Jay and the Doctor were back at it on JJJ this morning. When talking to someone travelling up to Cairns and looking for some hitchhikers to share the driving in his 12-seater troop-mover, the Doctor asked of the vehicle...

"Are there any other idiosecrecies our listeners
should be made aware of?"

If there were, they weren't going to stay secrets for long being broadcast across the nation.