Fangs for the memories

At the BIL's wedding on the weekend, one of his good friends got up to give a speech and opened with:

Well you know, you have all these speeches and antidotes..."

Other than that the whole thing was delivered without any poisoned barbs or biting sarcasm.

Switzerland

One obviously diplomatic colleague was recently described as having a foot in both pies. Just make a decision so we can all eat! On second thoughts....

Dotting What??

In a recent meeting with an executive team, one member was on the back foot after not quite delivering what they needed to.

After some quick talking, the person was summing up with the CEO who was beginning to nod in agreement.

The sentence ended with the assurance that 'we'll get this right, send the letters, dot our T's and cross our I's'

The CEO kept nodding but somehow it was not in agreement anymore...

What are in the ear

More an audible funny than a LF, but funny all the same. This was overheard at the water cooler this morning:

Person 1:"I pulled a muscle in my back this morning drying my hair" (both hands above head shaking, showing how said muscle was pulled)

Person 2: "What on earth where you doing with your hands up there?!?! Shouldn't they have been on the wheel?"

Person 1: "What wheel?"

Person 2: (after a small, contemplative pause) "Oh. You mean 'Drying your hair' - not 'driving here'"