Last call

I was sitting in Sydney Airport patiently waiting to board my plane when an announcement along the lines of
"This is the last call for Qantas flight xx. Would Mr Zhu Ming please make your way to gate 33 immediately. "
boomed over the loud speakers. As this was repeated in various ways over about a 20 minute period, it became quite plain that this poor man was having an identity crisis and he was not zooming at all!!

A dish best served...

I heard this one on ABC 702 this afternoon... A woman had lunch at her mother-in-law's, and after the main course the mother got up from the table and announced she was:

"Serving a Vendetta (Vienetta) for desert"

And now for a few words (or not) from our Patron:

Not some of his better (or worse) moments, but worth a look all the same:

Click here to view

urnotserious

I heard this story today about a doctor who visited the brother of a patient who had just died from prostate cancer. When the doctor arrived, the brother invited him in by saying:

"Please, come on in - we're just writing the urology for the funeral"

Makes me wonder if the doctor was a Eulogist, or if he wet himself laughing.

Fergoodnesssake

Spotted on the way to work this morning - a ute belonging to an airconditioning and electrical service company. The company name/logo emblazoned on the side of said ute looked something like the following:

"Ferconel"

Making a change - but not one the spellchecker suggested

We are about to launch a new insulin called "Lantus", and job adverts for various new positions are flooding the companys' inbox's. The latest begins:

"Lantus changes patient lives"

I'm not sure if this means you need to suffer from diabetes and multiple personality disorder, or if the fact that you've waited for four years for the government to out it on the PBS means it will work for you.

It all fell apart at the end

At the end of a colleague's performance review, which had generally been very positive, her managed summed up by saying:

"This year has really fallen in to pieces for you hasn't it?"

Only when it comes to mixed metaphors.

Wishful thinking?

A friend I used to work with is shaving his head for the World's Greatest Shave in aid of Leukaemia. This was part of his email requesting sponsorship.


"This is also an excuse for me to look into the future and see what I will look like in five years when the rest of my already reseeding hair falls out."


It was one of those examples where the world would be poorer had Microsoft developed the sense checker instead of the spell checker.

For the love of...

Dunno what caused this one - was the spellchecker not quite forthright enough? Or maybe she just had a listhp and was using voice recognition software (V.4). Or then perhaps she just didn't hit the "U" key with enough force. There could even be a fourth reason, however the email began:

"The forth of the NSW Alliance on-line talks will..."

Which reminds me - only 3 more sleeps until International Star Wars Day on... May the Fourth.

Major boredom

From a teleconference this time. One participant spoke of:

"A general lack of apathy"

I guess sometimes you just really can't be asked...