"If it doesn't work, we can just regiggle things"
Monday, October 31, 2005
Having a laugh with some wobbly words
I've just got out of another meeting which concluded with one attendee stating:
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Shh - I think I'm trying to cry
At lunch today, a colleague said:
"If that was the case, I'd be quelling up right now"
Yeah I was there and I have no idea what she was trying to say either.
Torment Graveller
From the Citysearch website, having recommended a French restaurant there were other options under:
More gourment dining
A new trend you could enlighten us on, Alex?
More gourment dining
A new trend you could enlighten us on, Alex?
Monday, October 24, 2005
no footsy in Forster or you might fester
A politician on the radio was discussing the new shoot-to-kill laws in Australia. He said:
"We should not do anything to help fester terrorism"
Now, don't get me wrong. I take his point, even if I think the new laws are ridiculous. But I was interested in a new lexeme that has crept into Aussie English.
Can fester be used in this way, i.e. as transitive verb analogous to 'foster' except that it has opposite connotations?
I think these two make a fascinating word-pair, where the simple change of a vowel can suggest that you are nurturing either a beautiful young baby boy named William, or in danger of producing a young man who suddenly turns dangerous and violent, growing out of the slime of your obviously dysfunctional family home, possibly nick-named Billy.
"We should not do anything to help fester terrorism"
Now, don't get me wrong. I take his point, even if I think the new laws are ridiculous. But I was interested in a new lexeme that has crept into Aussie English.
Can fester be used in this way, i.e. as transitive verb analogous to 'foster' except that it has opposite connotations?
I think these two make a fascinating word-pair, where the simple change of a vowel can suggest that you are nurturing either a beautiful young baby boy named William, or in danger of producing a young man who suddenly turns dangerous and violent, growing out of the slime of your obviously dysfunctional family home, possibly nick-named Billy.
Funny as...something that's really funny
This came from our Communications Officer. I thought it deserved a posting:
Her simile was like a vast, glittering tower of metaphors and analogies – only without the crenulations and towers and drawbridges and other architectural stuff….
As any anxious parent of an HSC candidate can tell you: It’s that time of year again. The following is a list of similes found in Year 12 English essays .....
Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature prime English beef.
She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.
The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a shopping bag filled with vegetable soup.
From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Sex in the City" comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.
Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot oil.
John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
Even in his last years, Grandad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.
The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
"Oh, Jason, take me!"; she panted, her breasts heaving like a Uni student on $1-a-beer night.
He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
She was as easy as the TV Guide crossword.
She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.
It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to The wall.
… and now at least you know what a simile is.
Her simile was like a vast, glittering tower of metaphors and analogies – only without the crenulations and towers and drawbridges and other architectural stuff….
As any anxious parent of an HSC candidate can tell you: It’s that time of year again. The following is a list of similes found in Year 12 English essays .....
Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature prime English beef.
She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.
The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a shopping bag filled with vegetable soup.
From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Sex in the City" comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.
Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot oil.
John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
Even in his last years, Grandad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.
The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
"Oh, Jason, take me!"; she panted, her breasts heaving like a Uni student on $1-a-beer night.
He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
She was as easy as the TV Guide crossword.
She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.
It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to The wall.
… and now at least you know what a simile is.
Monday, October 17, 2005
Another care of the George...
Said my Mum to the G "Come on, lets go and give Mummy a break"
Said G indignantly (oh the stupidity of the adults I must deal with)
"But she's NOT abreak. Mummy's all fixed."
Said G indignantly (oh the stupidity of the adults I must deal with)
"But she's NOT abreak. Mummy's all fixed."
care of the George
watching a cute kids show where dragon was planning his own surprise party, Giorgia proudly told me that "mummy, dragon hid the presents for the elephant of surprise"
Yeah, it's a kid's show but I think she still misquoted the "element of suprise".
(adendum - thought this might be relevant, paula.)
Yeah, it's a kid's show but I think she still misquoted the "element of suprise".
(adendum - thought this might be relevant, paula.)
Thursday, October 13, 2005
The good oil
A quote from the Australian of 12/10/05 in regard to oil prices:
"Where there is a persistent trend for some particular price to rise quickly over a longish period of time..."
An example of persistent oxymoronic paradoxical contradictions over a rather short period of time?
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
the space between us
In an email received today:
For more information regarding XXXXXX, please visit our web site: www.XXXXXXX.com.au. If you would like to be apart of the XXXXXX 2005/06 PROGRAM, please feel free to contact me at any time (as per my details below).
I'm not using their phone provision next semester in view of the complete absence of service. I would definitely like to remain apart - should I freely contact him??
For more information regarding XXXXXX, please visit our web site: www.XXXXXXX.com.au. If you would like to be apart of the XXXXXX 2005/06 PROGRAM, please feel free to contact me at any time (as per my details below).
I'm not using their phone provision next semester in view of the complete absence of service. I would definitely like to remain apart - should I freely contact him??
Monday, October 10, 2005
Nervous exploration
So I get home from roaming the globe, having given the builder my front door key (clearly he's only used it for decorative purposes), and use the secret back door key to get in. As security protocol at Adams St requires, my faithful flatmate has deadlocked the front door and I can't actually get out of the front door, let alone get my luggage in...
Luckily the Dazzler has the brilliant idea of simply removing the flyscreen and handing the hefty suitcases through the window. Necessity being the mother of all invention, we continue using this method to take lunch outside onto the deck and devise a cunning plan proving that two stools make a stile. Elegantly stepping up onto the stool, through the window and down onto the outside stool is fine for the young and oh-so-agile. However, the parental unit are planning on making an afternoon coffee visit. (Where's the language funny, you ask?)
So, I'm waiting for Mother and Father Dearest to make an appearance and roll their eyes at their strange middle child's way of life. For those of you who know them, punctuality is not a problem and they were due at 4:30.
It's 4:35 and they still haven't arrived... 4:40... 4:45.... (watch, window, watch, window) At which point the Dazzler observes,
"You keep glancing up with this look of intrepidation"
I suppose I was quite fearful at how bold my folks would be.
Epilogue:
True to form, Gail took the challenge and was half way through the window before announcing her arrival and their new dalliance with tardiness. Xochitl arrived home and allowed them a more horizontal exit...
Luckily the Dazzler has the brilliant idea of simply removing the flyscreen and handing the hefty suitcases through the window. Necessity being the mother of all invention, we continue using this method to take lunch outside onto the deck and devise a cunning plan proving that two stools make a stile. Elegantly stepping up onto the stool, through the window and down onto the outside stool is fine for the young and oh-so-agile. However, the parental unit are planning on making an afternoon coffee visit. (Where's the language funny, you ask?)
So, I'm waiting for Mother and Father Dearest to make an appearance and roll their eyes at their strange middle child's way of life. For those of you who know them, punctuality is not a problem and they were due at 4:30.
It's 4:35 and they still haven't arrived... 4:40... 4:45.... (watch, window, watch, window) At which point the Dazzler observes,
"You keep glancing up with this look of intrepidation"
I suppose I was quite fearful at how bold my folks would be.
Epilogue:
True to form, Gail took the challenge and was half way through the window before announcing her arrival and their new dalliance with tardiness. Xochitl arrived home and allowed them a more horizontal exit...
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
The Latest in Communication!!
Whilst driving back from Wagga Wagga yesterday (pause for sound of falling cutlery ... then again maybe not) we cruised past a Ute with many large antennas, aerials, masts etc. adorning the front bull bar. Julia had a sneaky peek at the driver and remarked
"He's talking on his CBD radio"
Did she mean his mobile?
"He's talking on his CBD radio"
Did she mean his mobile?
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