moviespeak

Late on Sunday night, too comatose to be able to extract ourselves from the couch we are tortured by some lame and fatuous show about movie production and promotion which held boundless potential for some english chop-suey.

You cast a kind of 20/20 hindsight look over your shoulder.

three in one!

there's something about the genetics, the DNA of a movie, which really reductively ensures it is or isn't going to be a great movie.

There were many more that I giggled at but was sure i would remember.Luckily I wrote those last two down....

only in springfield...

So you take a seat in a plush retsaurant where you're sure they will probably find a way to charge you for the air you are consuming (service charge 17%).You figure there's going to be some unusual items on the menu, some of which you may never have heard of before, but ready to try a few new things.You skip the Lobster and the Foie Gras entrees, peruse the mains feeling confident until you see

Gilled Wild Boar with Caramelised Witlof Celeriac Puree

It seems that not only have they suceeded in genetically modifying wild boar to breathe underwater but finally someone has grafted celeriac and witlof together into one fantastic vegetable....

(menu from 2 hat Sydney restaurant 27/7/05)

Get excited!!

My cousin responsible for some of my most cherished mixed metaphors is on the move again!

Dear Paula...

Well.. am off to Europe tomorrow.... Yahoo!! Will be sending out those reports on what I did.. not sure if you are enjoying them and laughing with me or at me...mmmm!!

Love Ka

No - there's nothing to spot in there, just the promise of good things to come (along the lines of 'I've only just tipped the iceberg in London' and 'They were sights to be held').

Birds and the bees on Big Brother

I checked with alex and he thought this was funny too...

From Big Brother (no not really a watcher, was just flicking through on a bad night of televison, in between checking out the supre site...)

From Christy, aged 20, female:

"Yeah, I just think, you know, she's been watching me like an eagle"

no more to say really.

Classy Indonesian

Was checking out the Supre fashion site, where they were showing a charming little shirt dress, described as :

ITEM NAME : BOUTIQUE BUTTON UP SHIRT DRESS

Ok so what's so funny there? Well - Pay close attention to the Description as:
'Button up shirt dress with boutique print'

do you think they might have meant batik?
"nore mayte it's a boo-teak print. Yeah."

If you can't see pic, go to www.supre.com.au

Haka Hiccup

When doing a little research on NZ culture for Weezer and G-Dav's wedding, I came across some lovely spelling, a rather figurative preposition and a neat little lexical invention.

When it comes to the Haka, the northern hemisphrere is infactuated on everything about it.

If that's inspired you and you want to get fact-up, go straight to the source:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/sportacademy/hi/sa/rugby_union/features/newsid_3152000/3152754.stm

Strophe of good luck

On a menu at Alio in Hurry Sills -

Baked snapper with spinach and a lemon, caper butter.

Tasmanian salmon on asian greens and an anchovy, cream sauce.

At least if you order the snapper, there'll be enough citrus left over for your Hoegaarden, but spare a thought for that poor hairy fish squashed under a virtual giant on the plate.

I had the barramundi.

spoilt brat

Also a radio beauty:

One of my flatmates, whose name I won't indulge....

While we're on the topic, Xochitl, I think we've pandered to your name for long enough. Can we just call you Jane from now on??

a warm reception

from the radio:

"and he was welcomed into the bosom of the house"

ouch.

Cry Freedom!

I was chatting with one of the secretaries in my office when she came out with this corker:

"Well, Harriet is thin but at least she looks healthy. Christine is just emancipated."

Lucky Christine!

Height restrictions!

I was in a shopping centre yesterday and was walking past one of those machines that measures your height and weight and gives you a printout as to how overweight/underweight you are. Next to the machine was a sign that read:

"Find out your ideal height!"

Now, unless you possess some kind of medieval torture equipment, I would have thought that changing your height was stretching the realms of anatomy (if you'll pardon the pun).

Paying your dues

Overheard on the weekend...

"One needs to pay due vigilence"

I'd suggest being more digilent with your use of the english language

bowling for columbine

Perhaps we should include a link to JJJ's audio streaming...
On the radio on Sat morning, the dj thought he'd turn his hand to footy tipping:

"As you all know, I bat for Collingwood"

Not really sure the willow is all that welcome on the AFL oval.

A few crackers from the north...

A recent trip to the Northern Territory unearthed a few pearlers:

1. Listening to a news report in which the exponential growth of a market was being commented on, someone turned to a friend of mine and said:

"Shouldn't that be expedential?"

2. At a flower show, one of the owners of one of the displays insisted on referring to her flowers as "bromelaids". Of course, the tricky part was carrying on with the conversation. In keeping with the local dialect, they were referred to as bromelaids from that point on.

3. Newsradio commenting on a circular from the Pope about national wages case and how Methodists and Catholics had last century supported the concept of a just wage

"Even the Pope had issued 'encyclopedials' about it."

Is that just more comprehensive than the standard encyclical?

4. A sports reporter talking about Greg Chappell's demands for his Indian coaching job claimed that Chappell wanted a particular person who was a 'kinseyologist'.

The reporter added that he thought this was an expert in human movement. What kind of human movement, one wonders!

5. And to close, two classic mixed metaphors:

Referring to events that happened a long time ago:

"But we've all passed a lot of water since then..."

How true!

And referring to the high rate of something or other in the city of Darwin:

"per head of capita"

Any actuaries interested?

another sporting gaff...

On the radio today, commenting on Barry Hall's composure under pressure:

"he has a cool, calm, collective head on his shoulders"

That must be uncomfortable...

In a hurry?

Some dude in Sydney being tried on terrorism charges allegedly produced a jihad manual, which he admitted was slapped together pretty quickly. But he said, and I quote...

"Better haste than never"

Mmm, when it comes to terrorism, I vote for never.

The immaculate perception

And from the middle of a meeting this week...

"There was a false conception"

I'm sure there was - I'm just glad I wasn't around to see it.

Positive Anymore - not funny, ha ha

I've been doing some ongoing cleaning out of my desk at work (as I move upstairs to my corner office with a window) and came across some notes from a conference we had in 2003. I was fascinated by the US Consulate representative's usage of 'anymore' in a positive context and took more notes on that aspect than on how to get a passport replacement for a student...

"We're all full of databases anymore"
"It's the smart way to travel anymore"

Finally got around to being properly way-tracked (thanks, Alex) from work and 'parently it's a dialect thing from Midland US States and a bit from New England and may go back to a Scots-Irish dialect.

From the Maven's Word of the Day http://www.randomhouse.com/wotd/index.pperl?date=19980206 :
"Anymore, I just can't get out of bed in the morning," is a dialect form that has gotten a great deal of attention from writers. It means 'nowadays; at present', and is found in positive constructions. Usage critics often condemn this use, and also often think it is new, but it is found back to the 1850s in America, and becomes especially common after the 1930s.

From the Linguistic Society of America http://www.lsadc.org/faq/index.php?aaa=faqengl.htm :
I've been eating a lot of pizza anymore. In this use, anymore means something like 'lately'. If that sounds odd to you now, keep listening; you may be hearing it in your neighborhood before long.

Artificial Intelligence

c/o Shaz:

"He's not exactly the smartest tool in the shed."

Who needs a sharp axe these days anyway?

States of Matter

JJJ provides a pretty steady supply of these - esp. Jay & Dr:

"Well, that's a rock tight reason for it."

Not as oxymoronic as water solid, though.